Files with Feeling

Author: Sheri Denkensohn-Trott

I decided that it was time to purge my file cabinet. So many files that had not been touched and likely papers that were no longer needed. Now that everything is digital, the file folders on my computer are much more user-friendly and don’t take up physical space. I attacked two full drawers of files thinking it would be tedious, but not expecting that it would be emotional. It’s only papers, right?

Instead, going through the files required looking at many items that brought back a range of emotions. Many papers were meaningless and easy to put in the shred pile. Out of date bills, tax records, and medical forms. For me, someone with many hospitalizations, the amount of paper from each episode was dizzying. Most of the records were out of date and irrelevant, but it still brought back memories of those awful times. Included were notes written by my now deceased sister, who was my rock throughout every health crisis. Papers with her handwriting listing questions to doctors, notes with the names and phone numbers of friends, and other notes to herself. I found it hard to push forward without getting emotional.

And mixed in were other unexpected papers. Why did I have medical records that belonged to my father? He probably sent them to me for my information and I put them in my own medical file. I realized that my files were not only disorganized, but finding these pieces of my father triggered so many memories. Seeing his handwriting in his signature ballpoint pen made me nostalgic.

Not every paper was sad. I still had the file with all the bills from our wedding. That brought its own decision tree. Is this information needed anymore, but why is it so hard to part with? This is not relevant almost 19 years later, but some of these papers are interesting to look back on. Ultimately it all went to the shred pile.

I did make progress on getting rid of paper, even information that evoked emotion. I’m sure I could have gotten rid of more. Who would’ve thought that cleaning files is not for the faint of heart?