Author: Tony Trott
Having friends really makes a difference in life. As I was growing up, I never had a shortage of friends; I may not have been the most popular kid in school with friends in droves, but I did have a solid group of friends. There was always someone to shoot hoops, play football, baseball, or Dungeons & Dragons with, or even just hang out and listen to music with or read comic books. This was before my disability started to become prominent and make those things more difficult (certainly not impossible, but just more difficult!).

Something special about good friends is that they accept you as you are and don’t try to change you. That’s pretty big for me as someone with a progressive disability. My condition, Friedreich’s Ataxia, gets worse over time; so, for example, when Sheri and I got married almost 20 years ago, I could fairly easily transfer to a chair for a meal if I needed to, but now that would be much more difficult. My friends realize that, and if we get together there is always space left open so that I can stay in my wheelchair at the table.

Another aspect of my disability that makes it difficult to socialize and interact with friends is my hearing loss. I do use a free transcription app on my phone (Google’s Live Transcribe) and my friends are aware of that and the fact that it is fairly accurate, but not perfect. They understand and make the effort to meet in quiet places if we go out for a meal and/or come over to visit and watch a game. They don’t make it awkward by selecting a restaurant that is super-loud and noisy as many places are these days. It’s truly comforting and helpful.

Friends are the people who bring joy to life, and we really can always deal with more joy. My message is choose your friends carefully. The ones that care about you will show it in spoken or unspoken ways. They will accommodate you as you are. You can have a thousand friends and brag about it, but if they don’t stay by your side through thick and thin, the numbers don’t matter. In fact, friendship is not a numbers game; I’d say quality over quantity.