Author: Tony Trott
I was just reading some really old (probably even before Happy on Wheels launched this website!) pieces that one of us (I’m not even sure which one!) had written. There was one piece that focused on independence, and that really interested me as I’m finding myself questioning my own independence lately. And this made me think of a piece I had written more recently about shades of gray. It is a realistic concept to think about when you have a degenerative disability. You don’t notice it every day, but all of a sudden something that used to be easy starts to be more difficult to do completely on your own and you might need a little bit of help.

While independence does mean ‘not depending on another,’ I think it has variable meanings for each of us. I decided that independence doesn’t necessarily mean doing something all by yourself, but being able to know on your own that you will likely need some assistance with whatever the task in question is. It does require thinking things through which is not always easy. For example, my cooking dinner; I need things that I can’treach handed to me or put where I can reach them. Did I prepare dinner independently? In my opinion, yes, I did. Sitting on the recliner in the living room and pulling on the back of Sheri’s wheelchair to get up. Can I do that by myself? Yes. But is it nice to get a helping hand when I’m tired or feel like making it easier. The same thing when I transfer from my scooter to my wheelchair. I can do that on my own but there are times that I ask Sheri to back up so I can brace myself on the back of her wheelchair. Again, just a little help but I could do it on my own.

My independence in tasks will vary, and many times I need to learn to do things a different way so I can continue to do them all on my own. Asking for help isn’t easy, and I want to be as self-sufficient as I can. But for me and anyone who is navigating this world, asking for assistance does not equal giving up your independence. Sometimes it’s a smart and efficient thing to do. Such tasks as asking for directions, requiring help to figure out something technical related to computer usage, researching to buy a new appliance, and the like. I could go on, but I think you get the point.

the disability world, independent living has its own connotation over the years. But I would say that in general it doesn’t mean that you hand over all aspects of your daily living to others. It is not a complete gateway to full assistance. It just means that you get to live in the community and manage it the best you can. Even if you must ask for some help once in a while.