Author: Tony Trott
Being grateful in life is one way to feel happier. Science proves that gratitude increases happiness. But I have a progressive disability, so what can I possibly be grateful about? The easy answer would be to just be grateful that things aren’t worse. In my opinion that’s one of the most annoying catch-alls around; unfortunately, there’s some truth to it.

For example, as probably most of you know, I was a music major in college and even though my disability impacted my ability to play my saxophone, I stuck it out and graduated with a music education degree. During college I also participated in marching band (the well-known Marching Royal Dukes) and was in the jazz band. It is not overstating it to say that music was my life. I graduated from James Madison University in 1992 and as my disability progressed, playing the sax got more and more difficult. Mentally, that became and still is difficult to reckon with. I did some student teaching, but it became apparent that my disability and I were not going to be successful in the music arena. Believe me, it was a harsh reality. But I went back to graduate school and got my master’s degree in special education. I worked at two nonprofits serving individuals with disabilities and their parents. I certainly can’t say I didn’t enjoy my work, but I would have liked to have been teaching music and playing it even if it was just at night! I don’t think I’ve played a note or even taken my saxophone out of its case in almost 20 years! (On a side note, anyone want to buy a Selmer Balanced Action?)

So, as I said before what can I possibly be grateful about? I had to dig deep otherwise I would dwell on what was stolen from me. And that’s not a great place to be. What I am grateful for has not much to do with the ability to play music. However, I am grateful for some of the lessons learned as a musician. I learned that as difficult as something seems to be at first glance, if you slow it down and practice you will be good at sit eventually. I also learned not to judge your own progress by that of others. Lastly, and maybe most importantly, I learned that different does not mean wrong!

To sum it up, I try to focus on the lessons I’ve learned and how they apply to different aspects of my life. I’d be lying to say that I don’t grieve for my loss of music and now my growing lack of ability to hear it. I have memories of music that I will always treasure, but certainly they bring feelings of loss. Hopefully, if something similar applies to you, I hope you can find something to be grateful for. Because I know if I didn’t find some gratefulness, that saxophone would be staring me in the eye every single day and causing problems.