Author: Sheri Denkensohn-Trott
If you had asked me in 1983 when I became a 
quadriplegic whether I would be writing this blog, I would stare at you and be in total shock. First of all, when you are younger you don’t think of getting older and especially someone with a disability when you are first injured. I lived from day-to-day. I didn’t know what life would bring. So, it is almost shocking to be sitting here writing about 40 years of being a quadriplegic.
But here I am. I have many stories to tell. I have scars from multiple surgeries, memories of terrible experiences, examples of discrimination, and mental struggles of a complete change in my life. That brings with it anger and disappointment.
At the same time, I have a fabulous husband, a great family, wonderful friends, dedicated caregivers, and a life that is full and fun. It may not be what I dreamed of, but frankly I have no idea what I dreamed of and whether that would even be the case.
I’ve never done the “if then” thought in my head. If I didn’t get injured, then what would my life look like? If I didn’t have a disability, then what would my work look like? If I wasn’t disabled, then what kind of exercises would I be doing? I find that to be useless and of no benefit to me.
I’ve always tried to focus on what I can do. I’ve made the most of it. Yes, am I frustrated that I can’t pop out of bed in the morning and be spontaneous and go wherever I want? Of course, I wish I could do that; who wouldn’t? Would I like my life to be easier and not require assistance? Yes. But despite these answers, I don’t dwell on them. If I did, I would be dwelling on a life that couldn’t exist. I am where I am. End of story.
People say that things are meant to be. I actually despise that saying. Things are not meant to be. What happens to you in life depends on what you do with it. Whether you have a disability or not. I believe that 
things come your way like curveballs, and you have to deal with them all the time. You decide how you are going to react. Sometimes, you do a good job, and other times you don’t. Some things you have no control over, and others you do. That is how life works.
I’m not having a party to celebrate my 40th anniversary. I’ve never had a celebration on the date of my accident. It is just a day. I think about it, I acknowledge my successes and failures, and I think about what I am thankful for. That’s how I will spend it. This will be quite a day.
we eat there and dine outside looking at the ocean and sunset. Considering that we were married on a boat on the Potomac River, it is always fitting to be near the water to celebrate our special day.
We are blessed to have a huge terrace. It is large enough to socially distance and be able to visit without wearing a mask. It is also a haven full of beautiful flowers, herbs, and surrounded by trees. Tony has been faithfully watering so it is bountiful. In the back of our condo complex is a beautiful Crêpe Myrtle tree in bloom. Yes, we probably have one of the best terraces in Arlington, VA!
zoom with Tony’s parents and then our fabulous neighbors are going to the local farmers market to pick up a delicious dinner for us that is premade. And Tony has ordered all the necessary materials to start practicing making a drink called the Hope Diamond. We usually order it as a treat when we eat at our favorite restaurant. It won’t take much to get me to be a sampler!
routine is just that; my life. But I would be lying if I didn’t say that once in a while there is a reminder about what life was like “before.” I do wonder if it will ever go away and I don’t think it will. But I can ponder.
the swim team with friends that I remain in touch with today. Those seemed like days of Camelot. How as foolish young teenagers we put baby oil all over our bodies with the goal of getting the best suntan; spraying our hair with lemon juice so it would turn blonde and instead it turned orange; going to the clubhouse and sharing a huge order of French fries and Tab soda, purchased from the vending machine; having our moms sit around the pool visiting while we did our own thing; and then going home to a cooked meal that my mother prepared earlier.
The soundtracks from Grease, Dirty Dancing and Flashdance. Donna Summer. Billy Joel. Bruce Springsteen. Michael Jackson. Bryan Adams. Cheap Trick. The Eagles. Journey. Styx. Survivor. Asia. And the list can go on. When I hear songs from any of those artists today, my mind travels back to my childhood bedroom.
each day and live it to the fullest. Health is wealth. Family is everything. Friends are my community. And making the world a better place is my passion. I may be doing it sitting down instead of standing up, but I am where I am and it is all okay. In fact, I’m better than okay. I am lucky enough to have everything I need to make my life beautiful and fulfilling.