It Doesn’t Get Easier
It is hard to believe that 2 years have passed since my father passed away. He was 94 and was sharp as a tack. He was able to work until he was 92 and when the time came, he was ready. It was quick and he died peacefully.
At the same time, a friend of mine had a mother dying of pancreatic cancer and another friend was losing her mother to Alzheimer’s. I’m sure there were other tragedies going on in the world with people losing loved ones.
Grief is universal and we all feel it in different ways. A lot of it depends on our relationship with the individual that is passing, the age, and the physical condition. When my father passed away I was devastated. He was 94 and I was blessed to have him for so many years, he was my rock. I talked to him all the time and he was the biggest cheerleader and supporter that I ever knew. But part of me had guilt. How could I feel so sad when others were losing children, family members that were much younger and people with multiple chronic conditions? My father was healthy, working, and I shouldn’t have expected him to live into his 90s.
I have had time to think and reflect. I truly believe that the longer a loved one lives, and especially if they are in good shape, that your mind begins to believe that they will never leave you. It is an irrational thought, but it is something that becomes reality. So even though I should have been ready, I was not. I had convinced myself that he would be around forever.
Never feel guilty about your grief, despite the circumstances. We all have different reactions, but it never comes easy and it will always be difficult. Time does make it a little bit better, but each milestone in life that you pass without that important person is going to be tough.