Different Perspective
Author: Tony Trott
Here we are almost in October, which, if you live under a rock and don’t know, is Breast Cancer Awareness Month, I thought it might be a good idea to offer a different perspective; one that I haven’t heard tons about (I’m sure there are plenty of 
blogs/columns/articles from the husband’s perspective but they probably just get missed because Breast Cancer Awareness Month is filled, and rightly so, with stories of survivors of the awful disease).
My wife, Sheri, is an over 10-year survivor; and that just blows my mind when I think about it. I mean, it’s not like she has it simple enough with day-to-day things (because of her quadriplegia), but to add what can be a truly devastating disease to the picture seems to be just totally unfair (to put it mildly!).
When she was first diagnosed with breast cancer, I was pretty taken-aback, but I had no doubt that we would be able to deal with it. I’m using the pronoun “we” because 
sometimes the effects of a breast cancer diagnosis can easily affect more than just the person diagnosed. Of course, the woman bears the brunt of the diagnosis, but the man needs to be ever-present and offer support in decisions regarding treatment (please note that I said “offer support;” the final decision about treatment should always be up to the woman herself). There can be chemotherapy, radiation, a mastectomy (single or double), or any combination of the three. In Sheri’s case chemotherapy and radiation presented potentially life-threatening side-effects, so a mastectomy was really the only option.
Surgery was scheduled, and Sheri’s surgeon, who knew her well from previous hospitalizations and surgeries related to her spinal cord injury, referred to her as “my fragile creature.” So, we were both comfortable that Sheri was in good hands and things would go well. They did, and after an overnight precautionary stay at the hospital, she came home for the recovery.
Recovery from the mastectomy, not exactly recovery from breast cancer. Breast cancer is a disease; and, quite frankly, it is not something that is ever completely gone and you are completely recovered from.
As with other types of cancer, like the Non-Hodgkin’s B-Cell 
Lymphoma I was diagnosed with about 2 years ago, breast cancer is just something Sheri lives with from day to day and she is definitely a “survivor.” Is it totally gone after the mastectomy? No, it isn’t; but is it in charge of her life? That’s an emphatic NO!
we eat there and dine outside looking at the ocean and sunset. Considering that we were married on a boat on the Potomac River, it is always fitting to be near the water to celebrate our special day.
We are blessed to have a huge terrace. It is large enough to socially distance and be able to visit without wearing a mask. It is also a haven full of beautiful flowers, herbs, and surrounded by trees. Tony has been faithfully watering so it is bountiful. In the back of our condo complex is a beautiful Crêpe Myrtle tree in bloom. Yes, we probably have one of the best terraces in Arlington, VA!
zoom with Tony’s parents and then our fabulous neighbors are going to the local farmers market to pick up a delicious dinner for us that is premade. And Tony has ordered all the necessary materials to start practicing making a drink called the Hope Diamond. We usually order it as a treat when we eat at our favorite restaurant. It won’t take much to get me to be a sampler!
routine is just that; my life. But I would be lying if I didn’t say that once in a while there is a reminder about what life was like “before.” I do wonder if it will ever go away and I don’t think it will. But I can ponder.
the swim team with friends that I remain in touch with today. Those seemed like days of Camelot. How as foolish young teenagers we put baby oil all over our bodies with the goal of getting the best suntan; spraying our hair with lemon juice so it would turn blonde and instead it turned orange; going to the clubhouse and sharing a huge order of French fries and Tab soda, purchased from the vending machine; having our moms sit around the pool visiting while we did our own thing; and then going home to a cooked meal that my mother prepared earlier.
The soundtracks from Grease, Dirty Dancing and Flashdance. Donna Summer. Billy Joel. Bruce Springsteen. Michael Jackson. Bryan Adams. Cheap Trick. The Eagles. Journey. Styx. Survivor. Asia. And the list can go on. When I hear songs from any of those artists today, my mind travels back to my childhood bedroom.
each day and live it to the fullest. Health is wealth. Family is everything. Friends are my community. And making the world a better place is my passion. I may be doing it sitting down instead of standing up, but I am where I am and it is all okay. In fact, I’m better than okay. I am lucky enough to have everything I need to make my life beautiful and fulfilling.