PreMay2017 – Page 3

07.05.2017 by Happy On Wheels //

One Day at a Time

Stone with "One day at a time" carved in it.
I have been focusing on taking “one day at a time” ever since my father was diagnosed with renal failure four months ago and opted against dialysis.

In fact, it is a way of thinking that I try to put into practice every day.

Be in the moment. Enjoy and appreciate each day.

Stop worrying about the future and the what ifs. Make the best of every situation.

This is often difficult to reconcile with the needs of work, family and health. At work, projects must be planned to meet a future deadline. Family members often want to plan events so they can “get them on the schedule.” And taking care of our health often means making medical appointments in advance. So it can be impossible to stick solely with the “one day at a time” mode of thinking.

But, I propose that in most instances, it is possible to focus on the day, hour, and even the moment.

My first “tool” for doing this is to focus on one positive (or at least not negative or worrisome) aspect of my day. It might be work-related (yes, believe it or not, some work things can be enjoyable!), it can be a gathering with friends coming up in a few days, or often something as simple as what I will watch on television later that night.

Second, and most useful to me lately, is to have a mantra each morning that I try to follow throughout the day. Sometimes it is just one word and other times a phrase. Also, the nature of the mantra depends on the activities of the day. And, how I am feeling. For instance, on a day when I had an incredibly busy schedule at work and was worried about getting everything done, my mantra was “focus on one activity at a time.” On a recent day when I wasn’t feeling up to par, my mantra was “you can make it through the day.” A beautiful day a week or two ago had a one-word mantra: “appreciate.” This approach is useful because when I feel like I am getting stressed out or thinking too far ahead, the mantra brings me back to the moment and the circumstances become manageable and in many cases more enjoyable.

Despite the realistic need to look to the future and plan, I think that we live in a culture today that is fast paced, moving at lightning speed to the next activity and the beauty and comfort of the day or even the moment is not appreciated. The day flies by and gets lost as we email, tweet, multitask, and rush through each meal in order to take care of the next thing. So it is easy to make an excuse that it is not possible to realistically live one day at a time.

I disagree. I learned through my own health crises that each day is a victory. And for my father, another day is a win. So resist the urge to become a “super-planner” of the future. I don’t mean to downplay the value of being organized and a Type A personality. I fully admit that my tendency is to think forward and plan. But taking the time to breathe deeply over my coffee in the morning, focus on my mantra, and be mindful of what lies ahead for the day actually produces a level of calmness that helps me to be more effective and happier.

For those that want to plan out each day, week, month and year, I urge you to take a few minutes each day to breathe and take in what is around you.

Because much of life is out of our control, and you, as the super-planner, may wind up disappointed at the results of your master plan and, unfairly, be upset with others for ruining it.

So, sip your beverage of choice, swallow slowly, create your own mantra and take it all in. What we have today may no longer be with us tomorrow.

https://happyonwheels.com/one-day-at-a-time/

07.05.2017 by Happy On Wheels //

Mick the Quick Got It Right

One of my favorite quotes is, “Ain’t no sense worryin’ about the things you got control over, ’cause if you got control over ’em, ain’t no sense worryin’. And ain’t no sense worryin’ about the things you don’t got control over, ’cause if you don’t got control over ’em, ain’t no sense worryin’.” Those words of wisdom were said by Mickey Rivers; a very fine Major League Baseball Photo of Mickey Rivers player from 1970-1984 with the Angels, Yankees, and Rangers. OK, maybe a totally 100% worry-free life is a pipedream, but for me this quote helps to put things in perspective.

My disability (Friedreich’s Ataxia, FA) is genetic in nature and it is progressive, so someone who has it was born with it and the National Ataxia Foundation estimates that one may begin to show symptoms (most noticeable: a lack of balance, impaired coordination of arms and legs, and slurred speech) anytime between the ages of 5 and 25. It can be, of course, earlier than that or later too. Every person who has FA has his or her own version.

Because FA is progressive, in some ways I have no control over it; of course, in some respects I do have control (I can exercise or work on my muscle coordination after all). Either way, I’m covered by Mr. Rivers quote.

Unfortunately, “…ain’t no sense worryin’.” is not any easy thing to do, especially when you’re born and raised Catholic! You can ask my wife, my Catholic-guilt is a pretty heavy thing to have to deal with. I have five siblings and we all have Catholic-guilt to some degree. And, regardless of religion or upbringing, my life experience has shown me that while worrying is a natural tendency, it can be used productively to spur action; however left unchecked, worry can be mentally taxing and cause immense stress to the worrier and those around him/her.

Wemberly Worried Cover About 14 years ago I bought a book for my whole family for Christmas called “Wemberly Worried;” it’s a children’s picture book by Kevin Henkes about a young mouse named Wemberly who worries about pretty much everything. It fit my family to a T. (No pun intended considering our last name is Trott).

Now I’m not sure if the Mickey Rivers quote would work for Wemberly, but it does make sense and work for me. If I have control over some aspect of my disability, I feel like I have a responsibility to do whatever needs to be done to assert that control and take charge; by the same token, if I don’t have control over something, I try not to worry about it.

Please don’t take this to mean that I adopt a laissez faire attitude and let the chips fall where they may. I’m not a fatalist. I am someone who is able to think about something negative and even be concerned about it without worrying about it.

I don’t imagine I’ll ever be an All-Star Centerfielder like Mickey Rivers, but if I can apply this quote to my life, I will be someone with less worry and more happiness. And that makes the world a little better and life a little easier.

https://happyonwheels.com/mick-the-quick-got-it-right/

07.05.2017 by Happy On Wheels //

One More Hour

When the clocks are turned back for daylight savings time, most people celebrate the fact that they will get an additional hour of sleep. At the same time, it is a sign of the seasons changing, especially because it gets dark so early. Although the weather is still lovely, the cold and winter are not far away. It isn’t helped by the fact that stores barely get past Columbus Day Picture that reads "Daylight Savings Time Ends." and are already pulling out the Christmas decorations, but I won’t digress on that topic; I’ll save that for another blog. But those that follow me know how I feel about skipping over Thanksgiving, which is my favorite holiday.

But what about the extra hour? It makes me think about the days that I’ve had lately where I feel like there aren’t enough hours in the day to get things done. I feel like I’m always wishing for more hours and more time. Not enough time to sleep, not enough time to work, not enough time to complete paperwork, not enough time to stay in touch with those I want to, not enough time to spend time with my spouse, and not enough time to take care of myself. So, given that there are a finite number of hours in the day, how do we each deal with the challenge of time? I recognize that I don’t have children and weekends that are filled with child related activities and commitments. I truly respect my friends that have that on top of everything else! I find that I can barely keep up with my own errands and demands and can’t even imagine having to be responsible for others.

Maybe this is something that happens with age, but I feel like I need to make the most of the hours that I have and fill them with the things that mean the most to me. Given the realities of making a living, work must be part of my daily schedule. And the time it takes me to get ready and not neglect my medical needs is not negotiable. So, the question I need to figure out is how to best manage the rest of my time.

Person marking things done on a checklist I am experimenting with a “must do” list each day, trying not to do any email after dinner, limiting time on Facebook, spending more time reading, and focusing on taking time to just relax. I haven’t found the magic formula yet.

Recently, I was given what I consider a very helpful tip. Think about “what does Sheri need today” and using that to drive decisions about how I spend my time each day. It is a very interesting question that I am now trying to work into my daily thought process. How can I make the most productive use of the time but still have some time left over for me? And what is it that I really need and want?

This will be a continuous process of learning and experiencing. I’m hopeful that I will get there with meditation, trial and error, and the advice and support of others. Some days I just don’t hit the mark and I feel like I need a “do over.” The best I can do on those days is to focus both on what I accomplished that day and what I did for me and not to obsess over what didn’t get done Just learn from that day and move on to the next day and hope to do better. When it comes right down to it, I think that is the best that each of us can do. Signwith the word "stress" crossed out.

What is most important is to try to be cognizant of time and wishing for more is not the answer. I will keep you posted on my progress. If you have any tips that you would like to share, please do so by commenting. This is an ongoing conversation.

In the meantime, I savored the extra hour of sleep and I’m hopeful that early darkness won’t interfere with my progress. In fact, maybe I can find a way to use it to my benefit? What I do know is that I’ll try.

https://happyonwheels.com/one-more-hour/

One Day at a Time

Mick the Quick Got It Right

One More Hour

Contact Us

Follow us on social media!